Mad-Era Highlights

The top 21 things about a weekend in Madera:

1) Playin' like Bo Duke, with the back end steppin' out, gravel flying, and rubber squealin', after taking AWfoSho's shortcut to the start of the Ben Hur TT... There is a road on the map, but nobody said anything about it being 12 miles of dirt. Should've seen the look on that rancher's face as the Mazda sped by in a 5o mph cloud of dust with three bikes on the roof! Should've seen the look on AWfoSho's face when he realized his pops could drive like that...We did make the start, albeit only minutes before reg closed...

2) The beautiful country off of Ben Hur Road... might think about moving their one day...

3) AWfoSho not finishing last in the prosey stage one TT...

4) Watching Deadliest Catch marathons on Discovery in the Madera Motel 6... The only other entertainment in the neighborhood was the local high school kids wretching in the bushes at 6:30 in the morning after a run-in with some Prom Night debauchery... That or counting the wheels on all the trucks in the Pacific Pride Trucker's Dream Stop, gotta be one of the only places in the world where truckers can pull to a stop after a long haul, hook AC units to their sleepers, run in to the video section of the local version of Gas-n-Go to rent some porn, stop by the Trucker's Chapel (a converted box trailer), and be back in the afore-mentioned sleeper in about two shakes of a calf's trail... imagine all that good stuff in a one square kilometer area...

5) AWfoSho not finishing last in the prosey stage two TT...

6) The Staz chuckling to himself as the guy who just passed him in the 4's TT went straight when he should've turned... seems one of the local farmers was in need of a few of VeloBob's orange cones so made a quick stop on one of the course corners where somebody had conveniently left them for him... too bad for the guys that had a good ride going...

7) Funeral cakes for dessert at Perko's Cafe... Madera: the only place in the world where one can hear a former Czech National Champion on the road say,"I don't have my glasses. What does that say? Funeral Cakes?"...

8) Not having to wake up at o-dark thirty for a bike race... Having the kidlets upgrade is really starting to pay off. Not only do I get to skip the occasional Friday at work, I don't have to ask for the dreaded 5 am wake-up call when I check in. Now if we could just get something done about those higher reg fees for the pro/1/2 field!

9) AWfoSho not finishing last in the prosey stage three Crit...

10) 7 hours making new friends in the feed zone... There was Tiffany who's husband rides for Morgan Stanley in the masters, Melanie who's husband rides for Sierra Nevada in the 3's, the Vello Bella squad with their resident life-of-the-party, Olaf Vanderhoot, etc... I'm gonna try to figure out a way to charge admission to feed zones... people would pay for that kind of entertainment...

11) The Sierra Nevada Pale Ale flavored soda-pop that Mike Hernandez slipped me in the feed zone... See? I told you people would pay for that kind of entertainment...

12) El Gigante still in the lead group of the 3's RR after lap one, and two... oops, he's not there the third time thru...

13) Having Shawn and Chad tell me that El Gigante flatted at the end of lap three and was NOT dropped from the lead group in the 3's RR... Those boys took good care of El Gigante. Chad even offered him his wheel when the unmistakeable sound of escaping air was to be heard... alas it had adult gears on it. El Gigante would have been DQ'd after winning the field sprint...

14) Staz's valiant effort to hold off a charging 4's field in the RR... Those Simply Fit guys will never get out of the 4's if they are scared to stick their necks out for fear that they might get dropped if the attempt at victory comes up short... I can hear 'em now, "I could win if I can tolerate this pain for two more K's, but if they catch me I might get dropped and won't be able to finish 23rd in the field sprint, better slow down!"

15) The smile on Jason E's face after finishing the 5's race second on the GC... Hope you like that T-Shirt, Jason. I hear that all the words are spelled correctly on this one!

16) Watching the women 4's feed... gals trying to take a bottle from the right-hand side with their left hand, gal's saying, "okay girls it is the feed zone, no attacking!", feeders doing sommersaults in the middle of the peleton... thankfully, she was the only one that touched pavement... bottle's rolling hither and yawn... you get the picture...

17) Watching The BL earn his 2's upgrade by winning the the 3's RR... That boy has been working hard the last few months. I'm glad to see him out of the testosterone-driven, horse power-laden 3's where you are one stupid bike trick away from a 30 bike pile-up worse than anything this side of a NASCAR restricter plate race...

18) Listening to the cattle lowe as they try to find a way down the rock band behind the feed zone... for three hours... I always wondered what lowing cattle sounded like.

19) AWfoSho not finishing last in the prosey stage 4 RR...

20) AwfoSho not finishing last on the GC in his first prosey stage race...

21) Final Results posted in a timely manner by VeloBob!!! Gotta say thanks to Bob and his crew for putting up with all of us snot-nosed bike racer types for another weekend...


The top three things maddening about this year's version of Madera

1) El Gigante's ride ending flat out of the lead group in the 3's RR... He had a good one going and was in need of the confidence boost...

2) The Staz getting caught in the last K of the 4's RR... upgrade points, where art thou???

3) Forgetting to tell Kelbster to record Talladega on Sunday... Afterall, it is the best restrictor plate race NASCAR has to offer...