The Pain Cave

Several of the Kidlets saw Coach Jesse this evening for a trip to the Pain Cave.

TK got to learn the ins and outs of a lactate test, Staz and El Gigante completed this season's second round of Conconi's, and AWfoSho simply succumbed to the calipers for a skinfold measurement in an attempt to avoid injury follow the clavicle escapade.

But, before we can discuss the blood, sweat, and tears, an explanation of exactly what the Pain Cave is...

E.O.B. may have encapsulated this best in a recent email:

This "pain cave" is a Midwestern Collegiate Cycling Conference euphemism with which Phil Mooney has infected both the the Aggie and Elite teams. Degrees of hurt are as follows:
"I'm in the pain cave;"
"I'm in the pain cave and I'm bobbling my flashlight;"
"I'm in the pain cave and I dropped my flashlight;"
The inverse is also true--if you're feeling especially strong, you proclaim that you brought extra batteries to the pain cave.

Two bits of humor this vernacular has engendered in the last 7 days:
While attempting ANT2 repeats on Cardiac last week with Phil, Nils, and Paul Mach, I was going as hard as I could up the damn hill when Paul passed me like I was standing still. He offered some quick words of encouragement, but all I could say was "I... uh, dropped... my batteries...down the hole... in the cave."

At the start line of the Men's A Stanford Crit last week, Paul announced, "I brought extra batteries!" Of course none of the Stanford, Cal, SLO, or USC guys had any idea what the hell he was talking about, but Mooney bellowed, "'Cause we're going to the PAIN CAVE!" Current Under-23 national Champion Max Jenkins looked at Mooney in shocked fear, clearly concerned for his safety and Phil's sanity.

Phil also deploys another system of nomenclature built around a mythical town called "Sufferville," but aside from its utter lack of bathrooms, I know nothing of the place.

The kidlets definitely visited the Pain Cave this evening... there was sweat, lots of it, all over Jesse's hard wood floors. There was blood pumping through teenage veins and dripping out of TK's ear each time he was pricked. And, AWfoSho will never admit to this, there were tears as Jesse pinched him with the skinfoldometerthingamabob... those things leave marks.

Gotta wait for Jesse's analysis of all the data, but the initial numbers look good... up from the last trip to Jesse's Cave of Pain. for those of you that are old enough to remember... the Cave of Pain is definitely an E-ticket ride!!!

And Max Said, "Let the Wild Rumpus Begin!"

On the start list for Copperopolis... California's own Hell of the North...

10-12's

Karcherific... With his pure spin, Karch has got to be the odds on favorite for this one!

13-14's

Alex F, Kelbster, and April... I think you know who the sure money is on!

15-16's

Andreas F, Mechanical, Torey, and El Gigante... depending on how aggressive the boys are we have a few options in this one!

17-18's

Brian, PtotheArker, AWfoSho, and Staz... with some help from his teammates and some luck, AWfoSho has a chance at back to back wins... if he can stick with the pure climbers.

P/1/2

TK... looking for a top 10 finish here... it really will be the first big test for TK against the top climbers, but a little guts and determination can go a long way. It'll be fun to see how it all shakes out.

DBCJRT has a realistic shot at taking home top honors across the board in the junior categories... Rock my world boyz and girl!!!

Bariani and Land Park Results are Up

Check them out here and here. Record time from SGW... most years it has taken them weeks. Kudos to the boys and girls across the causeway.

The final tallies listed on USA Cycling's website show just where everybody finished, which is interesting in its own right, but they don't tell the real stories...

This much I know:

April's dad writes:

April had a good overall race. She raced with the Woman's 4's She hung with them until there was a prem lap. She was toward the back and the group she was with was dropped, but she hung with that group through the end. She felt that she could have hung with the main group, but she couldn't close the gap by herself once she was behind and she said the others didn't want to push to catch the main group. It's a learning experience and hopefully she will improve with each race.

That's what first races are all about... learning. April is all set to show us how much she learned at Copperopolis!

AJ writes concerning Barini's elite 5 race:

The race starts out nice and mellow but slowly starts to get faster, I look around to try and find at least one teammate but there is no success. We start to go head on in the wind which was brutal, and that is where a bunch of guys started to drop back. By now the pace has quickened as we start to climb the "sissy hill". There was a breakaway of about 5 guys and no one was going so I speed past a bunch of guys and catch up with the breakaway. I am now sitting in the back of the group of 5 guys we make a right hand turn and accelerate to about 29 mph as I am having a hard time hanging on I look up and see a pretty good climb and think to myself sh!t. As we start to climb I see that there was the main group right behind me so I let them swallow me up along with the rest of the breakaway. I make the mistake by getting behind "squirly" so I drop behind one more spot. It is now the 3rd lap and we are on the windy long sraitaway and I see a guy from DBC that was in my race that I didnt see in the beggining but he wasnt a junior. He starts to drop back from the main field so I get up next to him, told him to stay on my wheel and I pull him back up to the group. He says thanks man and we keep going. We are now about 3km from the finish and going up that climd again, right then I WAS IN THE PAIN CAVE with no extra battaries and I had dropped my flashlight. All of a sudden I hear F%$king iddiot look up and see about 4 guys crash I swerve around them and keep going. I now see the 1km sign. So I start to sprint I pass about 3-5 guys and 6 woeman. I look down at my computer and I am going 38mph then a bycicle chief guy passes me. We go down a hill then back up another small one and cross the finish line.

AJ finished ninth!

Concerning the Elite 3's...

At Land Park it was El Gigante's turn to pay back Staz for all his hard work at Merco and Menlo Park. With three to go he did just that, riding hard on the front to bring back a break. Once done, he drifted to the back, picked up Staz, and according to E.O.B., made a move up the gutter that was a thing of beauty--bodies and bikes going thru gaps that were virtually non-existent. El Gigante dropped Staz off near the front and Staz delivered... 4th place in a tailwind sprint with junior gears.

Bariani was a sufferfest... Staz and El Gigante fought thru 4 laps with the lead group that had dwindled to 35 or so before succumbing to the wind. They battled on to finish the last lap on their own.

Of life in the 4's...

PtotheArker and Tapinator turned the pedals in anger at Land Park, fighting the good fight only to get caught behind a last lap crash. Keep fighting boys. The results will come.

And the boyz playing with the big dawgs...

TK was very active in the pro/1/2 event at Land Park... covering moves, attacking, recovering. AWfoSho spent most of the race at the back of the bus getting his head together after 6 weeks out of competition. He did move to the front with three to go, serving as the set-up man for Judd Van Sickle. Once there he launched two attacks of the front that eventually sprung TK who made a bid for late race glory... off the front for two laps, caught only with half a lap to go. Once AWfoSho's job was finished at the front he quickly returned to the back seat to protect his still healing collarbone. Both kidlets finished safely in the group, but their DBC Elite teammates finished 4, 5, 6... job well done boyz.

Oh, did I mention that DBCJRT took home the Perpetual Trophy from the Land Park Junior Race for the third straight year... We also have the only athlete who's name appears on the trophy two times!!!

Photo Courtesy of Rodney Cox

Land Park Photos By Mark Adkison

Local Photog, Mark Adkison, took some rockin'... really rockin'... shots of the junior race at Land Park. Check 'em out at Hors Categorie Photos. All of the shots can be purchased... just contact Mark at HCPhoto@sbcglobal.net.

Land Park Cliff Notes... the junior race

Cast: 35 or so junior bicycle racers

Setting: Mild breeze out of the north, broken clouds and intermittent sun, cool, dry pavement

Plot: 40 minutes of riding bicycles in circles

Protagonists: AJ, Karch, PtotheArker, Tapinator, Robby (who shall forever after be known as mechanical), Brian, Staz, El Gigante, TK, and AWfoSho

Antagonists: Rio Strada's Bryan and Steven Larson, Ride for a Reason's Cody Kaiser and Brandon Mart among others, Giant's Brandon Trafton, several other bit players from Tieni Duro, Swift, and Rocket Sports Racing

Story Line: After a brief misunderstanding about a neutral lap, DBCJT is off on the offensive... repeated attacks by Staz, TK, and El Gigante finally soften up the field enough to spring AWfoSho. AWfoSho burries himself in the pain cave for five or so laps while Rio Strada mounts the chase with a helping hand from Giant and Ride for a Reason. TK makes the bridge solo to AWfoSho with five to go and the two of them work together to open up an insurmountable gap... meanwhile back in the field El Gigante, Staz, PtotheArker, and Robby throw monkey wrench after monkey wrench into the groups attempts to mount a chase. In the finale AWfoSho and TK cross the line together with TK generously allowing AWfoSho's wheel to slip ahead at the line. AWfoSho's victory salute was simply a dusting off of the collarbone.

Sub Plot Number 1: Tapinator slips out of the lead group with five to go, but rallies a few others to form a chase group that remained slightly behind the field. He crosses the line at the head of his group with a valiant sprint.

Sub Plot Number 2: AJ, Brian, and Karch marshal all of their strength to do battle in separate groups behind the leaders. Karch launches a savage last lap attack, AJ gains considerable experience while rotating with a group mate, Brian is the driving force in his group of six or seven.

Conclusion: Results through eight places... gotta wait for the rest to be posted on the interwebs... AWfoSHo first, TK second, Staz third, El Gigante sixth, PtotheArker eighth.

Overheard in the Aftermath: a last lap crash took down Brandon Trafton and Brian Larson and forced El Gigante to a track stand... Trafton's wheel washed out through the final chicane and the resulting slide took out Bryan Larson who's body and bike forced El Gigante to the curb. Just an unfortunate part of bike racing... papa Larson had some choice words that were overheard as he rushed to BL's aide... something along the lines of, "Some f*&%king DBC racer probably took him out." Hmm... I think somebody owes us an apology!

Editor's Note: Tales from the Women's 4 race, the Elite 4 race, the Elite 3 race, and the Pro/1/2 race to come as soon as they are sorted out.

Dang'd Blasted Mechanicals

A mechanical left Robby with just two gears from which to choose, but the kidlets were still able to post a second place time... good job, boys!

Photos courtesy of D-Tap

Menlo Park

Don't really quite have a handle on what my mind conjures up when I think of Menlo Park... maybe some kind of cross between Gorky Park (the movie, not the actual park) and Central Park (the actual park, not some movie). Rumor has it that u-tube was born in Menlo Park. There is also an independent record label that goes by the same name...

I do know that it is a long drive for a 35 minute crit... in all fairness, the crit was supposed to be 45 minutes, but seems that things were running a little late after the women's 4 race was halted for an ambulance. Then, it was running a little more late after the 35+ 3/4 race was halted for an ambulance. After that, it was runing even later after the 5's race was halted, twice, while we all waited for a few would-be bike racers to scrape their skin up off the pavement.

So, El Gigante and Staz got to start a half hour late and race ten minutes less. I figured that, after witnessing all the carnage the morning had to offer, they'd be a little shell-shocked and kinda ride around at the back for the 35 minute duration...

Imagine my surprise when, with one to go, Staz was on the front keeping it all lined out and safe for El Gigante. He did a full 3/4 of a lap before pulling off with two corners to go... El Gigante was 2nd out of the final corner which would have been perfect positioning, but given that the finishing straight was 500 meters into a headwind, he might have been a little too far up...

Anyways, he held on until about 100 meters to go before getting swamped... ended up seventh out of ninety or so-- 2 places out of the prizes, 1 place out of the upgrade points...

Gotta say, the teamwork is starting to gel... the kidlets are working well together to deliver somebody fresh to the line... and I like it!

The Greatest Racket of All Time

okay... maybe it isn't the greatest, but it is pretty darn close. I should have thought of it. Then I would be laughing all the way to the bank...

I'm about as apolitical as they come. I rarely vote, I have never protested something, mostly I just shrug and say, "That's the way of it all." I have my reasons for being as such, but that is a topic for another day and another blog... anyways, I've never been closer to protesting something as I was tonight. Maybe it is just because I'm on the back side of an 11 parent-teacher conference day (5 1/2 hours straight of talking about other peoples kids), but The Sea Otter Classic promoters and Active.com set me off.

$45.00 for a junior road race? Are you kidding? $40.00 for a junior circuit race? Say whaaa? And then, on top of that, Active hits you for a $7 service fee? Highway robbery...

$97 for two races where you have to park 3 miles from the start, fight your way thru all kinds of crowds and compete in a race on course with about 10 other groups riding at the same time. Then you get to wait hours for results to be posted...

If TK didn't have his heart set on winning this one before he grows up, I'd have not entered the kidlets this year.

When one registers on Active, who's service is sub-par when compared to Bike-Reg or Sportsbase Online, one has to check a box asking if this is your first Sea Otter or not. Each time I checked it I promised myself that it would be my last... next year I'm protesting exorbitant entry fees and absurd service charges with my feet.

$45.00 give me a freakin' break!!!

Just One Bedtime Story...

I'm draggin' this out from underneath a pile of fifth-grade report cards and eight parent teacher conferences so you'll have to forgive me if it is slightly incoherent... But, since junior refuses to go to sleep without his night night story...

Dateline: Merced, CA, Saturday, pre-dawn darkness

El Gigante, Staz, and TK roll out of the hotel under the glare of streetlights to spin a little blood into their legs on the way to the battlefield...

The usual cast of characters shows for the junior shenanigans and we figure that we've gotta best Bryan Larson if we have a shot at the overall. So, game plan... Staz and El Gigante are free to roam during the first half of the race to soften up the field while TK sits all muzzled up and restin'. If we're lucky El Gigante gets up the road and nobody chases because he's just a youngen' in the 15/16 age group. If we're not lucky and the boys are all over any thing we throw down, then we cut TK loose around the halfway point in a 1-2, left, right flurry dealt in the form of TK and Staz while El Gigante sits on just in case of a field sprint. That's the plan anyway...

Things start out just right... El Gigante is all over the sharp end, Staz gets a prime or two, but nothing is getting up the road for more than a lap or so...

Fast forward to the halfway point... time to change tactics... TK takes the muzzle off and away he goes. The first few attacks are just probes... can he draw BL out and make him chase? BL is having none of it, and the Swift and Lombardi kids are playing right into the sprinter's hand. Everything TK threw down was chased immediately by Swift's Tyler Brandt and Ryan Eastman, Lombardi's Evan Huffman, or Rock's Danny Finneran while BL sat all nice and protected like in the group. Guess the boys haven't been to bike racing's school of hard knocks yet. Lesson number one: Never... Never... Never... drag a sprinter to the line with you. He will beat you every time.

Two laps to go and El Gigante deviates from the plan... He counters one of TK's efforts hoping that nobody will chase, but the field can smell the sprint now and they are having none of it. El Gigante slides back into the group... only problem is he is a little too gassed to fight for BL's wheel.

Last lap and TK launches one final do-or-die dig. He gets the gap and is free, but when he looks back Finneran is in full chase mode with BL sitting on his wheel... I don't know if TK is exaggerating or not, but he swears he saw a smile on BL's face. TK would need to have at least five seconds to hold off a charging Larson, so he lets the catch happen, but stays on the front, keeping the pace high in the hopes that El Gigante has grabbed Larson's wheel and can sneak around him in the finale... (oops, see previous paragraph for add libbing w/out communication... makes teamwork harder).

Anyways, TK led out the sprint and got his doors blown off, but he did exactly what he was supposed to do...

El Gigante had enough gas to squeeze between Swift's Eastman and the barriers to take the 15/16 race by a bike throw.

I love Merco/McLane weekend... it is some of the best bike racing of the year, but it irks me to no end. For the past three years I've had the best team in the junior race and have come up short of the overall. 2006: DBCJRT executes the perfect leadout... Juge, followed by Davitamon, followed, by Thor with Steel Joe as the sprinter and AWfoSho as the sweep. Gawd it was beautiful, except Joe's legs lacked the usual pop and Tyler Gough was able to come around him. 2007: TK, Staz, Davitamon, and AWfoSho give us numerous options in the 17/18 race, but I blew it tactically... used TK up too early and had to count on AWfoSho beating Rock Racing's neo-pro Justin William's in the sprint... tall order. 2008: We lacked the 1-2 of TK and AWfoSho. Imagine how things might have shook out differently if TK was able to go long knowing that AWfoSho was glued to BL's wheel should he be caught. BL is fast, but he isn't gonna beat an on-form AWfoSho in a 150 meter drag race.

Say La Vie... or however they spell it...

Merco Results

I'm rather uninspired right now... something about a long day in the sun in the feed zone on the heels of two nights in a Motel 6 fifty feet from the freeway with less than sound proof walls (i think i need a comma somewhere in there). But, I will give you this...

Junior 15/16 crit... El Gigante, top step; The Tapinator, loads of experience
Junior 17/18 crit... TK, a job well done; Staz, 1 prime

Elite 3's crit... Staz and El Gigante, pack
Elite 2's crit... TK, another job well done

3's RR... El Gigante, 5th; Staz, excellent teamwork
2's RR... TK still another job well done

Tale's of herosim, bravado, and guts to come